Saturday, September 25, 2010

Some books I have read

Non-fiction:
How to read a book
The Einstein factor
How to stop worrying and start living
An autobiograpy (Mohandis Gandhi)
Eat right for your type
You can be a stock market genius
Learn to earn
Beating the street
Buffet, the making of an American capitalist
Titan (biography of J.D. Rockefeller)
Stocks for the long run
Bach, Beethoven, and the boys
Heroes of history
The greatest minds and ideas of all time
Do what you are
Narrative of the life of Frederick Dougass
Night
Stillwall and the American experience in China 1911-1945
The Guns of August
No fear Shakespeare: A companion

Fiction:
1984
The chosen
For whom the bell tolls
Tales of the unexpected
The hiding place
Dune
A wizard of Earthsea (the whole trilogy)
The hobbit
The lord of the rings (the whole trilogy)
The time machine
The war of the worlds
The mousetrap
Tom Sawyer
A Conneticut yankee in King Arthur's court
Crime and punishment
Hamlet
King Lear
Romeo and Juliet
Richard III
Julius Caesar
Flowers for Algernon
Catcher in the Rye
The old man and the sea
Of mice and men

Christian:
The Bible
Knowing God
More than a carpeter
The case for Christ
The case for faith
The practice of the presence of God
Don't waste your life
Life as a vapor
The purpose driven life
How to read the Bible for all it's worth
The Screwtape letters
The pursuit of God
The spirit of the disciplines
All it's meant to be
Wait for me
I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah

Thursday, September 23, 2010

16 non-fiction books to change your life

On Writing Well by William Zinsser (6th edition) "over 900,000 copies sold" copyright 1976-1998, (294pages) -
The book starts out with a writer talking about himself and his attitude about writing: it is a job like any other job so when you get up in the morning you do your usual things (brush teeth, exercise, have breakfast) then sit down and start typing, even if you don't feel like it. You break for lunch, then keep working until dinner, then you have dinner and break. After a break when you do some other things (play piano, read, study Chinese, for me, and of course, talk to people) then you may decide to do a little bit more writing to finish your ideas for the day and plan the next day's work. I like this description, and it is one I could happily do. Anyway, the interesting thing in the book is that he was invited one time to give a lecture to a bunch of college students about writing. When he arrived, he found out that another writer was also invited. The students listened to them both talk a bit, then they asked a lot of questions, one of which is what is important to us: "How do you write, when the mood strikes you or more regularly?" Our hero let the other guy talk first. "When I get into the mood I will write like crazy until my project is finished, and then I rest and don't write for a while." Of course you know what our friend said. The differences were striking. Then, the author politely says that "real writers" pretty much fit his category. It goes on from there and is a good book! Other books like this: If you want to write, On becoming a writer, and bird by bird (some instructions on writing and life).

Life's Greatest Lessons, 20 things that matter by Hal Urban, fourth edition, copyright 1992-2003, 165 pages) -
I read this a while ago, but remember thinking it was great. I hope I internalized what I read, as I like to read slowly and digest what I am reading, usually. Sometimes I will read for speed, but more often than not, I am enjoying the process of reading so I'm not in a hurry. It's like going on a hike to a mountaintop, then watching the scenery and view, butterflies, squirells, birds, and flowers on the way down. The time to press forward is on the way up, but on the way down, I am going to enjoy the natural sounds and sights and not try to "make time" or risk injury by going down fast. OK, so for this book, some chapter titles are: "Success Is More Than Making Money," "Life is Hard, and Not Always Fair," "Life Is Also Fun...and Incredibly Funny," "We Live by Choice, Not by Chance," "Attitude Is a Choice - the Most Important One You'll Ever Make." "Habits Are the Key to All Success," "Being Thankful Is a Habit - the Best One You'll Ever Have," "Good People Build Their Lives on a Foundation of Respect," "Honesty is Still the Best Policy," and "Kind Words Cost Little but Accomplish Much," etc. Those are the first ten out of twenty chapters. You can see from these titles what he is saying already, yes? One more thing I like about this book: the last two pages are book recommendations of other books that have influenced the author. Here are some: The BIBLE (yeah, of course, right?), Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, The Confessions of Saint Augustine, See You at the Top by Zig Ziglar, You Gotta Keep Dancing, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, First Things First, Tuesdays with Morrie, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I have all of these, and from those that I read I agree they are great!

Napoleon Hill's Keys to Success, The Principles of Personal Achievement, and by the same author, Think and Grow Rich (231 and 233 pages, respectively) -
OK, I have read a reasonable chunk of both of these books, but keep getting interrupted so I have not finished either yet. Sorry, I know that reduces the credibility of this recommendation, but as you will see in another post I also own the author's 9 CD set in which his own voice is recorded giving lectures on all of these principles. So from what I read and all I heard, knowing what this guy has to say is indispensible. He was hired by Andrew Carnegie, a really rich philanthropist who opened up a lot of libraries in the U.S.A., to go around and interview the most influential and successful people in the country. They were all rich and successful. He took twenty years to study them and talked to at least four U.S. Presidents. He distilled their ideas into the two books above and continued writing other books and giving lectures for the rest of his life. There is now something called the Napoleon Hill Foundation, that gathers his writings and lectures and makes sure they are published and available so others can benefit from this wisdom. Highly recommended.

The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley, Ph.D. and William Danko, Ph.D., copyright 1996 and 250 pages -
They also have a second book that I have called The Millionaire Mind, but I have not read that one yet.
This one is quite interesting. In the beginning they start inviting millionaires to meet at a hotel reception room so they can survey them. They offer a good meal and US$100 if they come. A lot of them showed up, and were THEY surprised (I mean the authors). None of them looked any different than you or me. They drove used American cars and wanted beer instead of wine, sandwiches instead of caviar. They really wanted that 100 bucks, too. They were thrifty, and their wives were even thriftier. They were married only once and many of them did not have a college education (I think 20%). They opened boring sounding businesses and worked hard all their lives so their kids could have a better life. Sounds familiar? Yes, in my family, my grandmothers on both sides were like this. They said that the group of people who are most likely to become millionaires are Russian immigrants. Check. My grandmother is Russian (still alive at 92, God bless her!), and at least she used to be a millionaire. Now, I think there is a news blackout, but it has been made clear that the grandchildren are not to get anything. It's funny, I am the only son of her only son. She (my paternal grandmother) had my dad first, then three daughters. All the daughters had daughters (four in total, my cousins), and if you ask me...well, it seems that they gave nothing to me because they thought that a man should be able to take care of himself. THANKS! Well, anyway, the point here is that the parents might be rich, but it does not mean that their kids are. They usually force them to go to college and major in things like accounting or engineering and the kids become grown-up professionals working for large corporations. Stable jobs, "good life and education," but they will never reach the heights their parents did by opening their own business. This book really makes you think. It did that for me. Good read!

Freakonomics, A Rogue Economist Explores The Hidden Side of Everything, copyright 2005, by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, 230 pages -
OK, time limits are getting to me so I will have to go faster. This book explores a lot of different issues and shows how events are not necessarily as linked as we think they are. For example, in New York City there was a huge crime problem. So they hired more police and got tough on crime. Then the crime rate went down. This author says the police did not help. He goes on to say that it was very possibly related to the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision in 1972 legalizing abortion. He persuasively argues that the people who become criminals are the ones who were neglected or not wanted by their families, and that around the time the correct generation would have been entering their criminal careers, the crime rate dropped because there were fewer bad people around. Now, I do NOT think abortion is a good idea. However, this example shows how the authors take a different perspective on things and there are many parts or issued of this book. I simply told you the most memorable one for me. Recommended

The Tipping Point, How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, by Malcolm Gladwell, copyright 2000, 258 pages -
Yeah, this book is another must-read. One example - he talks about different kinds of people, I think one is called the Mavern and they connect to other people naturally. He gives the example of Paul Revere's ride in the battle of Lexington and Concord in, correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Greer! 1775. This was near Boston. Anyway, Revere was famous for riding his horse saying "The British are Coming, The British are Coming" and everyone got ready and defeated the British redcoats. The interesting point here is that he got another guy to do the same thing and go in the other direction (I think the other guy went to Lexington, and Paul Revere went to Concord). Same time, similar place, same message. But we don't even remember the other guy's name. Why? He did not know who's door to knock on to wake people up out of bed and get them to prepare their ammunition and muskets. Revere was a Mavern, so he knew everybody who was "important" along his route, and he woke them up, and they believed him. No one knew or believed the other guy. So, this is why we won one battle and lost the other. And there is much more in this book! Again, I have told you the story I remember and appreciate the most. You will find other things you like. And yes, I should read it again!

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, copyright 1936 to 1981 (it is always in print and updated), 264 pages
All right, there is too much to say, just read it! One example - if you want to know how to make friends, you can take "man's best friend" as your example. When a dog walks down the street, ever notice how friendly people become and how they respond to the excited dog, who is just happy to see you. He wants to lick you or play with you and dogs are like a magnet for kids and adults alike. Why? Well, for us, we could be more excited to see people and SMILE. It is worth a reading, and then, as the author suggests, a re-reading.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last by John Gottmann, Ph.D., copyright 1994, 231 pages AND The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Word by the same author, copyright 1999, 266 pages AND The Relationship Cure, by the same guy, copyright 2001, 301 pages.
This is an amazing series of books! It talks about how and why marriages fail, and how to avoid it. This guy set up a research center near Seattle, Washington (near Vancouver, OK!). He would invite couples to come for a weekend and fully supply them with a great house with a good view, but they had to say inside the whole time. With their agreement, everything was recorded and videoed, (except in the bathrooms, obviously) and their communications analyzed. After years of research, Gottman now says he could watch a couple for about 10 minutes and accurately predict if they will get a divorce. Scary, don't analyze me or us, please!! But here is some wisdom I gained: there are the "four horsemen" (a reference to the book of Revelation, each horseman represented things like War, Disease, Famine...not good things, of course) of communication. The first is Criticism, the second is Contempt, the third is Defensiveness, and the fourth is Stonewalling.
Criticism - "You are ALWAYS late," or "You will NEVER change." Look for always and never!
Contempt - "You are always late you jerk (or *%$&#)," or "You will never change you stupid idiot, I hate you."
Defensiveness - maybe from the guy - "But it was raining and I had to drive more carefully and that's why I was late" or "I am trying to change, but you can't be angry or yell at me because it takes time," etc.
It is better just to say nothing, because the more you are defensive, the more the other person will get ready to fight harder.
Stonewalling - the person you are arguing with just shuts down all communication and ignores you. You can jump up and down naked in front of him (80% of the time, it is a him) and he will not respond. This drives the other person completely crazy! Please don't do this!
Now, let us say that it is fine to complain, like this: "Dear, did you notice your were late this time? It makes me feel bad because I have been waiting for a half-hour, were you OK on the way over?" or "sweetheart, I know it is hard but I hope you can change your shower-taking behavior. Please shower in the evening so you are not sweaty on the clean sheets, can you please consider that?" Complaining is fine, but when it becomes criticism, then contempt, etc., we KNOW the conversation will just get worse. So STOP. Just say, I need a "time out" for 20 or 30 minutes, and I will be back to discuss it with you more reasonably or make an appointment to do so later." Then just walk out. It will save you much heartache and many troubles if you just learn and agree to do this with your partner. By the way, I think the information here is good for friends, not just married people. Get one of the books and read it before you try to have a relationship with someone so you can know how to do it! It is something we can learn and improve if we want to. His ten-minute thing is not a death-knell, but a call to action to learn from his research. Please do.

How to Make Peace With Anyone by David Lieberman, Ph.D., copyright 2002 170 pages AND How to Change Anybody by the same person copyright 2005 195 pages, AND Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Feel Powerless Again copyright 2000, 177 pages.
All right, if you are with me this long, then you know these have to be good books or else I would not put them here. I lent one of them to another teacher and she read it, returned it, and said she was going to buy it herself and read it again. Yeah! This psychology stuff really works. But don't think it is magic, and take the titles with a grain of salt. It is helpful information, and I used it successfully before.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold Bloomfield M.D. and Melba Colgrove, Ph.D. & Peter McWilliams (3 million copies in print) copyright 1976 to 2000, 208 pages
This book is really amazing, and if you just read one book on the list, at the right (or wrong, depending on your viewpoint) time, then this would be the one. It could save you many months of pain. It is for the breakup of relationships especially, but can also be used for the loss of a family member to death. For breakups, they say that for every two months together, you need one month to recover after the breakup. For 10 years, you need five years to recover so you should not date during the recovery time at all or you will be making silly mistakes. However, the good news is this book claims to be able to cut that time in half. I have used it and I agree it really HELPS A LOT. It is wise and beautiful, with one page of wisdom on the left, and one poem on the right. You read one pair of pages per day. Don't rush through it!

WHY read?

It's a part of life. You can reach your dreams by educating yourself. Most people who are successful read voraciously, at least in their field, and often choose other books to keep themselves sharp. As Cicero said, "A room without a book is like a body without a soul."

My intent is to list some of the better books I have. It will take a while, so be patient! It is my dream to read books and do some writing myself, but often I get distracted like so many others. So I know I do not have time for everything, but in fact, if the book is on my shelf, it is much more likely I will read it at some point.

I hope you can develop your own library and also journal notes on what you read. These will be some of the most treasured possessions of your family when you leave them behind one day.